Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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