im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You need a sexual gate keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize