tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize