Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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