do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize