Quick, to the slutcave!
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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