do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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