why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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