Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
