why didn't you poke me back
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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