You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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