My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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