I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
