Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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