who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
