Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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