I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
