addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
