i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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