Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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