I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
