Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
