My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize
