considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
