I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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