At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets