i'm home, then i'll come over
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.