i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do