it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?