that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars