Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
