batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
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