so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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