she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Randomize