i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
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he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
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At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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