quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize