Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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