If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Randomize
