Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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