hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
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