sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
