JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
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