Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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