Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
He kissed a someone with a penis
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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