Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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