Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
