why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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