I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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