is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
