we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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