You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
People in love make me want to vomit
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!