I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
