I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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