Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Someone signed my nipple.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
