GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
