A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
