Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize