probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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