I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Randomize
