I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
babies were throwing up all over the place
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
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