never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
