So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
