My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
