Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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