hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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