I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize