hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Randomize
