I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
